Recurrent Dreams

Abstract

A recurrent dream has haunted me for years. It started when I first lived on the mainland, and it became more frequent as I travelled to more foreign lands. But sometimes I have it here, too. It goes like this: I come home to Hawai’i on a bus, a bus that crosses the ocean. The bus won't stop in the center of town--that's only for local routes. Instead, we are dumped off near the outskirts. I am always surprised, not for having been let off on the edge of town, but for finding myself back there at all. I hadn't planned to take that long-distance bus. It was a matter of fate. The dream continues: I stand on the curbside until a local bus comes by, one that says "Kalakaua Street," and I get on. But the odd thing is, and this is the nightmare, I cannot get off whenever I want to. The bus goes around and around the center of town, past my childhood home, past my primary school, past all the important scenes of my childhood, but it won't stop to let me off. Eventually, we end up back on the edge of town, the end of the line. I get out. The door closes behind me with a thud. The bus takes off with a swish. A breeze whispers its way up the street and slaps me gently in the face. Strange people laugh quietly behind my back as I stand alone on the curbside once more.