THE COLLEGE ESPORTS EXPERIENCE: GAMING, IDENTITY, AND DEVELOPMENT

Abstract

An emerging esports scene has developed on college campuses across North America.The proposition universities are extending to students who qualify and become collegiate esports players includes expert training, access to dedicated competitive facilities, and university scholarships. Given the institutional investment in facilities and player support for esports programs, in an industry that still lacks a formalized process of professionalization, the purpose of this dissertation is to examine how players navigate the various demands, responsibilities, and tensions that constitute the role of a collegiate esports player. Employing Stebbins’ serious leisure perspective and Baxter Magolda's theory of self-authorship, the longitudinal study conducted at the University of California, Irvine’s Esports Program included on-site observations, repeated in-depth interviews with players, program staff, and student volunteers, along with an analysis of archival materials related to the program's development. The major findings of the study point to how a historical turn was implicated in theparticipants’ accounts. Instead of a sole focus on the future, players reflected on their pasts and the possibility of their time at UCI Esports as a means of redemption for unmet promises. Because UCI, as an educational institution, was seen as providing the “whole package,” players were excited by the prospects of pursuing a competitive collegiate career at a reputable school, while also fully engaged in a varsity program that could help prepare them with a structured path into upper echelons of professional play. However, the analysis also revealed nuanced motivations for why players selected to playfor a collegiate program. For a select group of veteran payers, a desire to meet parental expectations stood out as an important reason for participating in UCI Esports. Once on the team, the players revealed that commitment and effort at skilled development led to having to decide between one's passion for esports versus a focus on academics. Via the analytic framing of the “Crossroads,” an institutional battle between UCI Esports and its players emerged. Participants found themselves contesting the very institution that was supposed to support them. The expanded programmatic offerings that UCI Esports provided created tensions for players who wanted to use their time in the varsity program as a means of discovery and experimentation with elite competitive play. Players learned that institutional growth at UCI Esports conflicted with their cultivating competitive identities. Consequently, a sense of disillusionment overcame many players who faced disappointments in the program, with some seeing UCI Esports as not living up to the social, competitive, and institutional experience imagined. Thus, this work reveals novel and nuanced topics central to the discussion of balance and negotiation as part of the collegiate esports experience.